FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Is it as bad as a Gen13 novelization? I propose that it cant be, because ads tend to not take eight hours to read to a discord.
141: Gen¹³: Time and Chance Jeff Mariotte and Scott Ciencin
#2 Gen¹³
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that brings tears to my eyes
gellaho
Cipher runs away
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three kids murdered because of my own decisions? That's time for some stronger words
gellaho
Then meets up with a homeless guy named Ron
Velo, Juice Criminal
What
FancyShark
Hi, Ron!
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Possibly Foul 'Ole Ron?
Velo, Juice Criminal
Now is not the time for a hobo sidekick, Jeffscott
BlindMonkey DARK
Well...
gellaho
Ron gets them to meet at an obelisk
Tom strips for action!
I know he's a super so it doesn't matter, but why not become intangible BEFORE hitting the ground
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
theres a qualitative difference between being stabbed once or twice and being executed via the Death By A Thousand Cuts.
FancyShark
Hi, Obelisk!
BlindMonkey DARK
Music video logic gets weird in novel form doesn't it
Brendan
This is the oldest manmade object in NYC and surprisingly it was not plundered!
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
hahahahhah for real?
Velo, Juice Criminal
Central Park is full of such weird shit
gellaho
Bobby is a real cool dude
Velo, Juice Criminal
Depends who you ask
BlindMonkey DARK
I used to know someone who worked at the puppet show house there
She pivoted into stunt work somehow
FancyShark
Jeez, Bobby. Getting dumped by the lesbian pervert didn't help your mood, did it
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Hey Bobby. My dad left when i was a kid, and it was better, because he was a shithead. Im glad he didnt stick around and hog all the Thunderbird.
gellaho
Welp, I'm lost
BlindMonkey DARK
Scans
BlindMonkey DARK
A lifetime of film student bullying erupts from Joe
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Wager's just trying to have fun I guess? But he hasn't been outside in 10 years and he's a weird freak so no one gets his jokes
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Im really glad that show has become my standard definition for what a puppet show can be.
It doesnt lead to unhealthy expectations at all.
gellaho
Expected a South Park reference from these hacks, but no dice
Velo, Juice Criminal
If you ask the Egyptians they'll tell you that the Ottoman Empire didn't have any right to give away ancient Egyptian obelisks. If you ask Turkey they'll say they have no memory of that ever happening. And if you ask the Met they'll tell you it was a totally legitimate gift, stop asking.
gellaho
Please, shut up
FancyShark
Wager, you went to prison over a prostitution sting and discovered you can math good. You are amping up way too fast.
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Wager. Bud. You were hiding in a bathroom not that long ago.
BlindMonkey DARK
Hold, Fold, WALK AWAY, Run
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
You're obviously going to melt.
gellaho
Christ alive, this is dumb
gellaho
FancyShark
Wager, you're playing with cheat codes on. This is just sad
BlindMonkey DARK
I think this is the Universal Studios Hayride
gellaho
Please stop, JeffScott
BlindMonkey DARK
Mix! That! Metaphor!
FancyShark
And people treated Joss Whedon like a messiah for this kind of meta talk
BlindMonkey DARK
"And here we are, at the album release party of destiny. Kicking field goals into the controller of the gods, rolling dice with our love."
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Joss Whedon read Gen13 confirmed.
gellaho
The other way around, really
FancyShark
:Ourodogos:
gellaho
After all, the last book referenced Buffy
FancyShark
ohh, that's true
gellaho
Anywho, Wager forces Bobby to burn everyone
FancyShark
I'm comfortable blaming Whedon for this
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
I think its a mutual feedback loop where they both become more insufferable over time
gellaho
It takes a while for them to figure this out
FancyShark
I'm looking forward to how they bullshit a victory against Basically God
Dyosy
Why is the villain who has the developer console open even bothering with this?
FancyShark
PhysWiz vs The New Year
If you have cheat codes, you still kill everything on the map
Dyosy
I'll allow it.
gellaho
Oh, it was an illusion. How interesti... Zzzzz
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Because if he doesnt then some dork in 1998 or whatever is going to send Jeffscott some letters.
FancyShark
I remember when Onslaught did this to the X-Men. It was rad. Possibly because I was ten.
gellaho
June 2001, so they don't have anything else to worry about
Velo, Juice Criminal
I'm actually impressed Jeffscott found a way for nothing to happen here
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"hahaha we are dead. You are a murderer. No we're not."
gellaho
What fun
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Take the blame? For what? To who?
gellaho
Ahuh
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the cops?
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Who?
Velo, Juice Criminal
I know it goes unsaid but it's worth saying: I fucking hate Wager so much
He's the worst villain
PhysWiz vs The New Year
Dipshit teens would write something more fun than this... the problem is the writers have exactly enough writing skill to suck this hard
FancyShark
He's turning into an anime villain
Velo, Juice Criminal
They're trying to do super powered Moriarty and everyone forgets Moriarty is only in about 5 pages total of a book
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complete with the "fighting too fast to see" to save on animation budget
Velo, Juice Criminal
And never physically present because that would be annoying
gellaho
On and on it goes
FancyShark
Reminder: Caitlin's the smart one
BlindMonkey DARK
OH GOD NOT MADARA AGAIN
Nononono
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
This is like watching two authors invent Elon Musk.
gellaho
Seriously? You dipshits went back for seconds on the copyright infringement?
FancyShark
RIGHT!?
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let us toast to strange attractors while I stab the god who reflects damage
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
I just finished listening to the podcast about that last week. Im not sure if that coverage was heroic or insane, but it was good listening.
BlindMonkey DARK
I'm really learning to appreciate cape art today
gellaho
"Dark energies"
Brendan
Why don't they give him an orgasm?
Or some gen-active steroid?
FancyShark
He did express the required horny interest in Caitlin
gellaho
Now it's a video game boss fight
FancyShark
Wager, what are you even doing
Velo, Juice Criminal
Being subtle
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wager it doesn't matter if it becomes public. You are now the god of this world
BlindMonkey DARK
Live and Learn, From the Works of Phbbbbt
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the fun lasts for as long as you decree
Velo, Juice Criminal
No one will notice the five new obelisks forming a pentagram in Central Park. New Yorkers please confirm
Dyosy
Hell do the I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream thing and just keep them alive forever to torment them.
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
It fucking pains me that Gen13 ran longer than Weapons of the Gods.
gellaho
Boy, this is really thril...zzzz
FancyShark
Even with superpowers, bumfights aren't worth it
Velo, Juice Criminal
Sure they become Cthulhus, that might as well happen
gellaho
FUCK OFF JEFF! FUCK OFF SCOTT!
gellaho
And, I mean this sincerely, is the worst transition I've ever seen
Okay, so we have that as the ending of the chapter
On the opposite page we have
Tits
BlindMonkey DARK
"I always wanted to say that"
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very gooey water on her arms there
gellaho
FancyShark
Getting the sense the artist doesn't want to be involved with this book
Velo, Juice Criminal
This is making me reconsider my stance on book burning
gellaho
Ahuh
FancyShark
He did?
gellaho
A fellow Jeff
Velo, Juice Criminal
Fuck you Jeffjeffscott
gellaho
I skipped it, but just imagine how the dumbest guy you know would write that scene
FancyShark
I think the artist has been doing a good job. Drawing the sex object character as a leper could be a form of rebellion
PhysWiz vs The New Year
I've seen anime
gellaho
You don't have claws, Caitlin
gellaho
Fuckin what
FancyShark
Of course she's the magical solution
I'm surprised we didn't think of it
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Fuck off if youre not gonna give us some Yog Sothoth
Velo, Juice Criminal
The solution is feet
I'm just saying that now so I can point at it later and say "see? I fucking called it"
gellaho
She develops a super antidote real quick
BlindMonkey DARK
Isn't that a pickup line
"Our lives back. Especially those of us who were poor, with dead families. We might have overdone the trauma axis for this point."
FancyShark
Seems like this could have had more emotional impact if you'd developed it before we fought Bullshit End Boss
BlindMonkey DARK
I suddenly know why the young confused X-man is always well-off
gellaho
That doesn't make sense, but sure
FancyShark
"And it took me only 13 hours"
gellaho
FYI, these five morons are all children of people who had the serum, so there is no version of them without the modified genes
BlindMonkey DARK
"No harmful results. Mutant creatine, basically. We're eating this shit like SKittles forever."
I always wanted the New Mutants to suck
What a banner day
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I mean... You need to do live testing first. What if half of the structure of your organs are now super and this antidote neutralises them?
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Neutral livers for all!
FancyShark
No time. Use the homeless man
Dyosy
The last time I did any work with DNA, just doing a test to look at structures took like 2 hours minimum.
Brendan
I have amazing cinematic news for you
gellaho
Whoa is me and my big titties
BlindMonkey DARK
winner
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Critically, you know what DNA is and how it works. Jeffscott do not.
Velo, Juice Criminal
I have such an exciting movie for you
gellaho
CRY FOR ME AND MY HONKERS
FancyShark
Caitlin, that's not why they're staring at you
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
I enjoy remembering the original run of this comic ended with these dipshits being nuked.
BlindMonkey DARK
Gen 238?
gellaho
Well, then
Velo, Juice Criminal
I'm not even mad anymore, just sad. These people spent time on this
Time they will never get back
gellaho
Ahuh.
BlindMonkey DARK
We will say their names to honor the embarrassed dead
FancyShark
Finally: Cartoons
Velo, Juice Criminal
Nevermind, I'm mad again
gellaho
Fuck, really?
gellaho
Is Chuck E giving out tokens?
Tom strips for action!
I hope Wager realises that all his old skills and experience are useless now because he can just manifest anything without having to steal it
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
English Neil is mostly baked beans and sausages.
BlindMonkey DARK
Chuck E. Bones could murder an entire gang by hand and never be taken seriously
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And he dies of boredom
FancyShark
They call him English Neil because he's French
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
I like to think Chuck Edward Bones is a skeleton from Castlevania.
gellaho
What a conflict
gellaho
You aren't missing anything, they just showed up here
Tom strips for action!
Grunge is deaf now?
Brendan
What is Grunge, absorbing man?
FancyShark
I assume he's making a joke about all the concerts he goes to
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Grunge confuses being hearing impaired with being just kind of a dipshit.
gellaho
Goddammit
Brendan
Wait, doesn't Grunge have the same tattoo as the bald man?
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Yes, but also Chinese and does kung fu he learned from movies.
Velo, Juice Criminal
I will find Jeffjeffscott's graves
Brendan
Yesterdayy's Gogurt.
FancyShark
I feel so hip and trendy after reading this
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Also Grunge has a chest tattoo and its even more embarassing than having a dragon on your neck.
Velo, Juice Criminal
Why even have this scene
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Gogurt famously designed and portioned to eat the whole thing in one go
gellaho
Slab of rare beef
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You never have leftover gogurt
Velo, Juice Criminal
IS THAT WHY IT'S NAMED THAT?!
FancyShark
Velo, Juice Criminal
I've learned so much tonight
BlindMonkey DARK
>Save Image As
Dyosy
Ohhhh. Forking
Velo, Juice Criminal
It's funny because he eats
He does
He does that
FancyShark
Depending on how much of the book is left, it might be to tie up the loose end of "Wager wants to rule the mafia" without having anything happen
gellaho
Meanwhile, another homeless person
FancyShark
Willy sure was sad and lonely ever since the AIMS team disbanded
gellaho
Homeless child, fun
FancyShark
oh
Velo, Juice Criminal
Do it
Kill the child, Jeffjeffscott
Tom strips for action!
"ok now we just need this one mook to feel like a real character, you know? Just for a couple paragraphs."
"Ok let me fuck that up real quick."
gellaho
Nevermind that, time to perv out on some teens
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Lol they gave him a 38. Like you dont even WANT him to be effective.
gellaho
Legs so long, they'd take forever to step on me
BlindMonkey DARK
Hair sure cascades a lot in books
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Also I've just noticed he's 13
gellaho
He's just a big fan of .38 Special
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Yeah that was the big bugbear back then, im surprised they didnt mention he was black or something.
gellaho
He's gotta hold on loosely, but don't let go
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They didn't say he's not!
gellaho
Bobby ready to flambe this child
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Oh if he was, they would have been sure to tell us. Otherwise you dont get the Real Street Cred For Keepin It Real.
FancyShark
Do it. Burn the child.
gellaho
🎵 I don't know why this is happening 🎵
FancyShark
No, Caitlin. The end of hope is the DMV.
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Judgy ass white girls, kickin in your door.
gellaho
Get it? Get it? Do you?
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
I mean cool, rob those drug dealers but now youve caused a real problem for them and the people who rely on them for drugs.
gellaho
I'm just going to guess this police scene isn't going anywhere
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Do whatever tho. You cant spell Reagan13 without Gen13.
gellaho
Just get some unnecessary horniness in here
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Goooooooood unless you set these fuckin cops on fire I dont fuckin care.
Brendan
The authors needed us to know the cops would nail that teen.
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
To be fair they are writing from 2001 and probably dont know theyre repeating themselves.
gellaho
Hey, I was right about it being pointless
FancyShark
It's kind of amazing how literally every guy who meets Caitlin sexually harasses her
Brendan
It's her own fault, look how she's dressed.
If she didn't want to get harassed, she shouldn't have taken off her glasses, let her hair down, and grown two feet to become an amazonian sex bomb.
FancyShark
Law of averages she should have met at least one gay, ace or blind man by now
gellaho
Fuck
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
#notallmen,justjimlee.
FancyShark
Die of tetanus, Grunge
gellaho
Hey!
Sarah also did some harassing
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Oh but did you not realize that this book believes if you complain and pester them enough you can make a gay person at LEAST bisexual? Conversion Therapy, Comic Style.
Everyone involved in this comic is like your grandma asking someone "Well have you tried just not being gay?"
gellaho
TV screens start magically appearing
Velo, Juice Criminal
Sure that might as well happen
gellaho
There's a break here for some reason
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
And whats fun is all they have is these handful of character traits, so much so that I learned all this in exactly one issue of the comic, and it read like "Grunge admits to sexual harassment, Roxy bitches because Fairchild is hotter, Sarah squeezes girl ass and provokes a homophobic reaction. They fight a dipshit in a robot armadillo costume."
gellaho
Jeff and Scott sure do get a kick out of describing pointless boss arenas
gellaho
Appropriate you left Bobby out. The movie did too
FancyShark
"Anyways, play Eternal Champions, readers"
Brendan
He burned too bright.
gellaho
Which is weird, because his dad is in the movie
Velo, Juice Criminal
Who
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
He literally goes "Yup I dont get why the lesbian isnt attracted to me" and fails to use his powers.
gellaho
Played by Star Trek's Q taking a nap
Grunge is played by Flea
gellaho
And again
Brendan
Flea is in the only '90s alternative band that cannot be called grunge.
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
"Hey what if Arcade was less interesting and also a god?"
FancyShark
This is the same damn arena they fought in in the last book's climax, except they're not in a church
gellaho
Fuck offffffff
gellaho
Oh, the chapter image was a fake thing. Cool
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Shuuuuuuuuuuuut uuuuuuuuuuuuup
gellaho
I'm just going to skip the rest of this fake bullshit
Whut
FancyShark
So the big fight is going to sideline all the MCs
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Fuck off, thats just a fuckin dragon.
FancyShark
Because none of them can do shit to the bad guy
And then they'll magically stab him with the cure and send him to prison or he dies
gellaho
JeffScott don't understand lightning, noted
gellaho
It certainly is
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Well at least the art was accurate ish.
gellaho
FancyShark
Wager, you dipshit. You turned into a Gex boss
gellaho
Dork
Brendan
all the power in the world and the big climax is in the danger room
Tom strips for action!
The editing is getting even lazier. Quite a few repeated words they didn't catch
gellaho
I don't mean to be hyperbolic, but my soul left my body reading this
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Fantastic, thats Matrix Reloaded level stupid.
Tom strips for action!
FancyShark
It's fun when we reach the point where the author gives up