Ska Slut noiretoon
The Creation Equation???
141: Gen¹³: Time and Chance Jeff Mariotte and Scott Ciencin
#2 Gen¹³
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America's hottest supergroup in an all-new novel!
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Areze
how to do a Noodle Incident badly
FancyShark
It's like the Anti-Life Equation, but the opposite
gellaho
LEEEEEGGGGSSS
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Stop acting like anyone should have read the comics, you fucks.
Ska Slut noiretoon
Sounds like the Schoolhouse Rock solution to DC's Darkseid
gellaho
Meanwhile, Joe's been stripped, shaved, and been given complete crime knowledge
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Also Lynch, stop whining. You are going to hell, where you will probably defeat the Devil in a boxing match.
Tom strips for action!
I was gone for a bit to make food and I thought I must have missed more text
But everyone's confused so I guess I'm good
gellaho
That Gen-Active serum really does a number on your dick
FancyShark
Every gram?
There's fat in the brain
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
And then his fingers turn into little clacking parrot beaks and his asshole speaks in Ancient Sumerian.
Tom strips for action!
Yeah he probably died from that
PhysWiz vs The New Year
Now his brain can punch out a hulk
gellaho
Back to oggling the muscle ladies
gellaho
That name sucks
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
No it doesnt.
No it does NOT work Suzanne.
Tom strips for action!
Name the levels, Suzanne
PhysWiz vs The New Year
"Fuck, I meant Chipmunk-" "Too late"
Tom strips for action!
Define them for us
gellaho
Time to get into cuckolding
PhysWiz vs The New Year
don't dare them, they'll do it
FancyShark
"Yes, Suzanne. I have a spank bank."
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Ohhhhhh is Wager one of those wheelchair people? I hear their blood is totally normal.
Tom strips for action!
Is he paralyzed? Or does he just sit in every scene? I forget
gellaho
He's just agoraphobic. JeffScott don't know what that means though
They seem to think it means staying in one chair in a tiny room
As opposed to not going outside
Tom strips for action!
Yeah because this scene sort of implies they can't fuck until he takes this serum
PhysWiz vs The New Year
His "getting up" serum
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Also Suzanne, you should not be okay with him watching you fuck without permission.
gellaho
They give Joe a real shitty outfit
FancyShark
They made him a rollerblader
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
The son you care about less than Thunderbird.
Oh shit.........
PhysWiz vs The New Year
"His feet were too small, and his face, asymmetric"
FancyShark
Also, it's not an armlet if it's on the legs, Joe
gellaho
FancyShark
I'm looking that up
Tom strips for action!
Ok that's one level
We need at least two more
gellaho
And now he's a ghost
FancyShark
Well son of a bitch
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Yes tell us Suzanne is this homeless dude math?
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Or is he the activity of doing math.
PhysWiz vs The New Year
☝️ There's all your levels, @Tom strips for action! ☝️
Tom strips for action!
I've never been aware of that definition
gellaho
A brilliant plan worthy of the Hulk
ShmeEVAsaurus Rex
Me neither.
Tom strips for action!
I reject this
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Wow this super juice really made this homeless guy good at beating ass.
gellaho
You remember how The Terminator turned into a ghost?
Ska Slut noiretoon
They've created the ultimate Amway salesman!
FancyShark
Hi, @ShmeEVAsaurus Rex !
PhysWiz vs The New Year
We are going to get all of those, ALL OF THEM, because the author(s) bothered looking it up
Tom strips for action!
Good thing Wager subliminally implanted the knowledge of how to hack a secure elevator by shoving your muscly ham hands into it
gellaho
And now: piss and shit
gellaho
FancyShark
huh
gross
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
You agreed to become an unstoppable meat golem and do violence but didnt consider you might have to kill someone?
Look, Thunderbird is delicious but you cant blame that for this lack of foresight, Joe.
Ska Slut noiretoon
Reminder all this is happening because some John in Reno got incarcerated so hard he got good at percentages
Tom strips for action!
Please, calling this mindless automaton a golem is a pretty weird reference. He's much more of a cipher
gellaho
Now he's attacked by naked Asian women
ShmeEVAsaurus Rex
Hmmm... "Was it blood sweat and tears, or piss shit, and tears... I swear it's the first one... "
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Field?
He has a force field or something? What?
Weird.
I mean i kind of assume everyone does in Gen13.
ShmeEVAsaurus Rex
What
gellaho
Then he haunts the crime lord
Tom strips for action!
He's exuding glowy white energy for some reason. I guess it's a force field as well as a ghost-maker
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Ohhhhhhhhhh the stuff they injected him with was semen. This is a semen retention thing.
gellaho
Then the crime lord pulls out a cartoon bag of jewelry, because this book is extremely stupid and getting dumber by the second
Tom strips for action!
This foolish villain is 98% weak to boy-paralysis threats. Not his first mistake but certainly his last
Velo, Juice Criminal
This book has the same understanding of organized crime as The Darkness
gellaho
At least he's having fun
FancyShark
Appropriate, since it's the same publishers
Tom strips for action!
Comprehensive and nuanced?
I didn't play very far
gellaho
Now: video games
Tom strips for action!
Hey look a big puffy jacket
Put that on when you go superheroing Caitlin
Velo, Juice Criminal
Does it look like jacket girl is getting kind of unwantedly handsy back there?
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
God yes i cant wait to see what two out of touch writers hamstrung by comic books come up with for videogame references.
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Probably depicting the predatory lesbian of the group.
gellaho
Back at the shelter
FancyShark
Fuck you, Bobby
gellaho
Sarah insists upon her mystical Native American powers
Tom strips for action!
Fuck off please
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Sarah shut the fuck up, a rottweiler eating out of a dumpster is about as far from the natural world as you get.
Tom strips for action!
'My Indian senses tell me this dog is no threat to us!"
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Sarah! DOGS ARENT NATURAL! THEY ARE CREATED BY HUMANS! WE DID THAT!
PhysWiz vs The New Year
Whenever someone takes a 1-level dip in druid, they never shut up about it
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
You're probably right that it wouldnt have bothered anyone.
Well not hurt anyone anyway, it IS kind of a bother to be slobbered on during an extended bout of rottie affection.
Tom strips for action!
And yes superheated plasma was a bad reaction regardless
gellaho
The homeless lady starts talking about being a messenger against the demons
gellaho
Reminder that these two dipshits already defeated hell
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Knowing Image shes not crazy.
PhysWiz vs The New Year
Should have firebolted the homeless lady instead of the dog
Tom strips for action!
Ah yes, the woman who moments ago was described as always talking like she's ordering around the waitstaff in a fancy restaurant
Ska Slut noiretoon
"Would you join Gen 13? Or take a slow, searing ride on Sabnack's carousel while Wager watches? I'm Todd McFarlane"
Tom strips for action!
I knew a lady who sabbed my nack if you know what I'm saying
Please help I've lost a lot of blood
gellaho
They find out the family of the homeless guy got a bunch of money and moved away
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Oh what a shock, the homeless guy was divorced and hadnt seen his family in yonks?!
I could have sworn he was just in it for the love of the game. the game being drinking inexpensive, quality fortified wine.
gellaho
He gets cozy with Sarah
gellaho
Tom strips for action!
Is this another homeless man being groomed for experiments?
gellaho
After hearing their cabbie talk about his romance novel, they start making out out of nowhere
ShmeEVAsaurus Rex
Its a trap!
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Sarah............what are you doing kissing Bobby? Youre gay.
BlindMonkey DARK
sensuously
Tom strips for action!
Oh these are the fucking heroes? I can't keep track of their civilian names
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Their non civilian names are equally dumb and forgettable.
Some of them are just their surnames.
Tom strips for action!
At least Burnout has a fire word in it
BlindMonkey DARK
In their non-defense, a Gen13 novel is the definition of "for the freakz"
Brendan
Okay what is did the happen
Tom strips for action!
And you know exactly what you're getting with a character named Rainmaker
Ska Slut noiretoon
His nickname is a failure state, which is just perfect
gellaho
They visit the homeless man's wife, which instantly crumbles Burnout's new lust for life
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
A homeless man got superjuiced, and the lesbian forgot she was gay.
gellaho
The 90s
Ska Slut noiretoon
When Rainmaker comes to her senses:
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
What kind of pervert puts a space in the middle of Playstation?!
Tom strips for action!
Same pervert who names a kid Joe Jr
ShmeEVAsaurus Rex
It's not a secret if you tell everyone Joe Jr.
That's just what your dad tells you cause he'd rather be... Not there.
gellaho
Literally the only reason you've been doing any of this, Burnout
ShmeEVAsaurus Rex
Sure Joe Jr. Sure.
PhysWiz vs The New Year
"And I'm gonna have a son named Joe Jr. Jr.!"
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Bobbert.............you should know by now, that this kid is going to tell you the exact address of the villain lair.
gellaho
It's astonishing how the writing just gets worse as it goes
gellaho
Well, except the Jigglypuff thing
I don't know if anything will top that
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Did we get a bit where Sarah gets replaced by a non lesbian shapeshifter or something?
gellaho
It's painful to look at
Brendan
Rainmaker is lameass-flexible.
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Its like her one personality trait and it really seems like the writers forgot.
gellaho
Maybe that happened when they were in the Keys
ShmeEVAsaurus Rex
His incredibly burning a hole of uncomfortably creep into the back of one's head.
That power
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Also nobody has a cute goatee.
gellaho
Eat my balls, Jeff and Scott
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
It doesnt exist.
Not even literal goats have cute goatees.
Dyosy
I have seen no other part of this book, but this is the worst thing ever written.
Tom strips for action!
They may genuinely believe that lesbians are just cranky broads who ain't met the right fella
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Die in a fucking FIRE Jeff and Scott.
gellaho
That's exactly halfway through. So we will return to finish this...book? I'm not sure it qualifies as such
Tom strips for action!
There was too much to get to at the time, but you are so right
FancyShark
We partly did it!
gellaho
May your skin turn to glass so you may see the sensitive organs within
FancyShark
Thank you, @gellaho !
Great riffing, everyone!
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Hell yeah that would make figuring out whats wrong with some of my organs so much easier.
ShmeEVAsaurus Rex
Thank you! This was fun!
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Also thanks @gellaho for helping me reinforce my previously held beliefs that Gen13 is one of the worst things ever committed to print.
Brendan
I saw some goats a week ago and one tried to drink another's piss in stream, and this feels like we can no longer judge.
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
I didnt doubt that Gen13 was bad, but its nice to get confirmation that 15 year old Sausage was absolutely right and my friend David was fuckin wrong.
Eat shit, David. But thanks for lending me your NES games.
But eat shit for beating me at Killer Instinct with infinite combos when i didnt know how to play.
Brendan
We all had a David.
FancyShark
Some of us WERE the David
And aren't proud of it
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Fortunately I wasnt. I let people borrow my games and DIDNT try to convince them that Spawn was cool.
gellaho
The Book Cage: Episode 141.5
Gen¹³: Time and Chance - Part 2
In the first part of the book we learn very little, other than the lesbian member of the team is no longer a lesbian. The bad guy is a tiny, pathetic agoraphobic who is an expert at statistics because he was put in prison. His plan: give stolen superformula to a homeless man, make him threaten the mob, and then take over the mob. There are also super lasers and child gangs, and if that doesn't convince you to show up this Friday, well there's also a lot of teen sexualization by two married comic book writers. This Friday, 5pm eastern.
gellaho
gellaho
Coming up on the hour, it's the conclusion of Gen¹³: Time and Chance. Here is where we left off
gellaho
And here is where we are going
gellaho
See, they want her to step on them
With her big, strong, sexy, smart, and strong legs
Tom strips for action!
That's weird, how is she kicking while wearing a big jacket. Ladies have to wear revealing skintight suits if they want to do superheroing
Velo, Juice Criminal
BOOK
FancyShark
CAGE
Velo, Juice Criminal
Hi @FancyShark !
FancyShark
Hi, @Velo, Juice Criminal !
Velo, Juice Criminal
Ready for some book?
ShmeEVAsaurus Rex
Hello!
Tom strips for action!
Cage?
FancyShark
Hi, @Tom strips for action! ! Hi, @ShmeEVAsaurus Rex ! Hi, @gellaho !
FancyShark
Will be after I get back from an errand! Enjoy uncomfortably horny teens in the meantime!
ShmeEVAsaurus Rex
More of an observation today. Multi tasking
gellaho
Let us continue
gellaho
STEEEEP ON MEEEEEE
ShmeEVAsaurus Rex
It took me too long to see that was a foot
gellaho
Sam Perrine, weapons research nerd, lives in a walled mansion
Tom strips for action!
Why would you think the guards at the gate live there
Caitlin still thinks her teachers lived at the school
ShmeEVAsaurus Rex
Riiiiight
Tom strips for action!
This happened a lot in the first half too. These writers just throw in some cliche to round out the paragraph but it doesn't actually make sense
gellaho
He was in the business of weapons manufacturing and sales earlier, but sure he's all about intel
gellaho
Shapeshifting tastes salty, got it
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
This is why the government should use less road salt to de ice roads, thing of the Absorbing Man sex pests!
Velo, Juice Criminal
Hi @FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead !
gellaho
The nature of these guns is exactly why you were here in the first place, Caitlin
Brendan
Hiiiiiii
Velo, Juice Criminal
Hi @Brendan !
ShmeEVAsaurus Rex
Hi!
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Why in fuck would you have a gun that shoots regular bullets stapled on to your plasma gun?
Just the insulation requirement alone to keep your ammo from cooking off makes it bonkers.
Tell the truth, writers. You just think plasma guns are cool.
gellaho
"Ugh, God, why couldn't I be that guard?" - Jeff Marriotte
Tom strips for action!
Haha he calculated the exact stopping force he could bring to bear against a gate kicked by Caitlin... But he didn't account for gate plus Caitlin!
gellaho
You're a "techno-geek" Caitlin. Just one turned into a Titty-Hulk by science juice
gellaho
You were this close to fucking that weird nerd earlier
Velo, Juice Criminal
That was earlier in the book, though. We won't be referencing that in any way.
Earlier may as well have never happened
gellaho
Dude, you're like being totally heinous right now
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Hahahahahahha Grunge expected this dude to keep notes on his criminal conspiracy.
Tom strips for action!
I'm guessing the first nerd was hot. Caitlin's reenacting the "hello human resources?!" meme
gellaho
Weapon nerd gives up the ghost real quick
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
"Also you arent cops, youre shitty kids."
Also selling privately owned firearms isnt a crime, why do you hate America and the 2nd Amendment, Gen13?
Dyosy
"This is the US. No one cares if I'm selling guns."
gellaho
"But, yes, despite the mysterious leader, I thought the people I was illegally selling to were police officers and/or suburban home owners"
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
I mean...........Ring exists in real life.
So cameras arent that suspicious,.
gellaho
I bet he's learned his lesson
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
"Yeah thats the point you fucking idiot. I make goddam next gen space guns, I didnt think theyd feel good."
Tom strips for action!
I think this group needs a teen Punisher to kneecap this loser
gellaho
Cipher really stepping back on his murder methods
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
The big disco boots with the extra long cuffs are sending me.
Tom strips for action!
Oh right, Cipher. I'd forgotten about him, but then I just thought about what his name means and it easily reminded me of his whole deal
gellaho
Jay kept asking, "Eh, have you seen this, have you heard about this?"
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
As long as he isnt getting weepy about hurling the C suite to their doom im fine with it.
Also who wears Armani to the dump?
Tom strips for action!
Gangsters duh
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
You wear GUCCI! GUCCI IS THE DUMP WEAR!
Unacceptable fashion choice. Release the Regulators.
gellaho
Not sure why you knife needs to be electrified
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Makes it cooler.
Also more useful when fighting the Flying Polyps.
PhysWiz vs The New Year
"Guys titanium is a terrible conductor and- fuck it, I'll electrify it if you're paying that much"
gellaho
I'm not sure the flesh coloring is going to help too much when you have 10 conspicuous bumps in your palms
PhysWiz vs The New Year
All that stuff must make him look like a ninja turtle in a suit
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Man i hope nobody forgets theyre wearing those and jerks off, talk about Russian Roulette.
Tom strips for action!
Yeah concealed weapons in your own hands is always great
gellaho
A g-g-g-g-ghost!
Tom strips for action!
You sneeze too hard and dope yourself into next week
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
hhahahahaha bald AND a dragon tattoo.
I gotta say tho i have sympathy for people trying to keep track of what is and isnt real in this universe.
Must be a real pain in the ass.
gellaho
Jesus Christ, JeffScott. This is embarrassingly stupid
gellaho
That how a very sad 10-year-old nerd would write about beating up their bullies after math class
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Fuuuuuuuuuuck writers, dont bring math to a perfectly acceptable impaling.
Tom strips for action!
Wager has a phd in hulk smash
gellaho
Boy, you can really feel the tension
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Probably not X-com accuracy then.
PhysWiz vs The New Year
"Bazookas," in what, the 90s? Those were archaic then
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Not that it could salvage this, but note to authors: making a character an infallible genius capable of making math future predictions is fuckin boring and serves to undercut any tension you may or may not be building.
gellaho
You guys are really bad at this, JeffScott
gellaho
"I've killed all these people, but murder? Why, I never!"
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck offffffffffffffffffffffff
Tom strips for action!
Cipher, that's a you problem at this point
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Give this dipshit more Thunderbird.
gellaho
Oh, no! The chain of command!
gellaho
Eat my balls, JeffScott
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Goddammit authors, I get that shit enough from the Jesus freaks. I dont need it from weird dumb crime lords who have maybe the most Opposite Day names ive ever seen.
Brendan
This is beyond odds calc. His power is now structural omniscience.
It's still better than when FTWD split the bullet on the axe.
gellaho
They do that two more times, and Wager starts making an obscene phone call
Brendan
2099, very timely
PhysWiz vs The New Year
CPT-2099 - action playset now available!
gellaho
You are a killer, you've literally killed. And maimed. And threatened. And stole. You're not a great guy
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Have you considered being a killer? It seems pretty rad.
Tom strips for action!
I'm one of the good ones, he explains
PhysWiz vs The New Year
"Boss. I was onboard with becoming a cybernetic killing machine until I learned I'd have to murder"
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Here, watch this film, its called The Killer. All you really need is a cool scarf and some doves, apparently.
gellaho
Yeah, yeah. What the fuck ever
Brendan
Killing is wrong. I'm just a bruiser for hire.
PhysWiz vs The New Year
Jay has had the best arc so far
It was a ballistic arc but still
gellaho
Meanwhile, Burnout and the former lesbian stop making out long enough to see a man explode
Brendan
You would bounce though.
gellaho
Then it implies Bobby burns all his belongings
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Well he didnt need that condom in his wallet anyway.
gellaho
When they find nothing, they fly to a playground and start having an argument. For some reason
Dyosy
Is... Is he still naked while they are arguing?
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Was.............that a question?
What is this interaction?
gellaho
I don't know. It goes on for a while and I still don't really know
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
I guess we all dont understand.
PhysWiz vs The New Year
Can Cipher kill them now?